The moment just before the sunset, Ridgway Reservoir, Colorado Photo by Wendy Stieg

What You See is Not Always What You Get

What? The photos don’t tell the whole story? Of course they don’t tell the whole story! Here we are, sharing what looks like a perfectly lovely evening with the mountains, a picnic, a swimming Chocolate Labrador; what more could you want? Well, as it happened last night, I could want one more thing: a no-longer-annoyed Paul. Colorado IS beautiful and so are the photos, but as per usual, they definitely do not tell the whole story.

So what’s real, anyway?

What you don’t see is the effort it took to find beer, find the cooler, get ice, make sandwiches and a picnic, get the dog out, feed the dog and the loud cat, find the other cat, get dressed for the occasion, and run to the store because we were out of ice. All while finalizing a travel journal I was getting ready to publish through a company called Lulu. I almost pulled it all off too, except once we got to the river, piled out of the car, started figuring out where we would park our picnic, and an annoyed Paul demanded, “Well, you know, I was at work. What were YOU doing all day? Where is Gibby’s leash? Did you grab any poop bags?” I decided not to argue and answer the question: “Well, they are not here.” More annoyance from Paul: “So there is no leash? No poop bags?” And my answer: “No.”

Pre-sandwich-Paul, and Gibby wants a stick. Photo by Wendy Stieg

That didn’t sound like things were going to improve. But who am I to argue with reality? “I DID get everything else ready…” I said, realizing I should not have said anything to Mr. Grumpy Pants. “Ya know I was at WORK all day, what were you doing?” Then I did not answer. “Do you want a sandwich?” I asked. “No!” Said He Who Was Grumpy. With beer in hand and dog at his command, off they went to get Gibby into the river.

I left them to their devices and ate my sandwich. Then Paul came back and ate his sandwich. Hangry Man was replaced with Paul. “I think the river is too strong for Gibby; let’s go back over to the lake.” We had brought Gibby to Ridgway State Park the other day, only to get chased by the mean lady who watches the park. Going back there was at our own peril, as we were in fact leashless. We loaded up the giant soft cooler with the remains of our picnic and headed toward the possible Mean Lady and, certainly, to a better swimming area for Gibby. Do the photos lie? No, they don’t lie, but they don’t tell the whole story. The evening did get better. Food is miraculous.

A determined Gibby, Ridgway Reservoir, Colorado. Photo by Wendy Stieg

Long-time readers will not be surprised to learn that traveling, moving, and generally existing with Paul continues to provide endless material. For additional field notes from life with my favorite travel companion, see How to Travel Without Killing Your Partner.

The Next Morning

I spent the better part of yesterday wading through this travel keepsake journal I had created a few months ago. I had to put it on the back burner because we were: Selling a house, buying a house, transitioning between Cortez and Montrose, figuring out jobs, changing banks (more stressful than I remembered), and ended up moving the contents of a 3-bedroom, 2-bath into a 2-bedroom, 1-bath in the historic section of Montrose. I spent hours looking over every detail of this travel journal, which I hoped to publish by the end of yesterday. I was unable to finish the keepsake by the end of the day. I had done research about the best print-on-demand company to work with, which is something called Lulu, and this morning, I was successful. This morning, I published my first book. It is not a book in the traditional sense, but instead, it is a way to document a trip that is meaningful to you.

As crazy as this sounds, people love these and do end up buying them from places like Etsy, eBay, and Amazon. I will start by putting it on my blog and then running it through Etsy. Why? Because my ultimate goal is to eventually become my own employer and to have enough income through the blog, through self-publishing some planners and journals, through my small marketing business, and through other ways to earn money. I want to become independent and self-sustaining.

My first book. Can hardly believe I said that! Cover by Wendy Stieg

This idea of building a life I love rather than escaping from one I don't has become a recurring theme on this blog. I wrote more about that in I Don't Want to Escape My Life. I Want to Build a Better One.

Why This Moment Matters

I am not anyone particularly special. I do have a strong drive to accomplish things, however, and I am pretty good at task management. This moment matters because I have crossed a threshold. I am no longer circling around the idea of publishing something worthwhile that others might like to use. I actually did it. For me, that means I am one step closer to my dream of intellectual and geographic freedom. This house is part of that. Colorado will always be a part of the equation. We don’t want to give up living in Colorado; it is one of the worlds we will continue to inhabit. The world is full of successful, talented people, all on a crowded stage. I don’t want a stage; I just need to trust myself enough to be able to keep taking steps toward what I want in my life. I am certainly not writing from the finish line. Ironically, I kept waiting for a finish line so that I could write about it when I realized my sweet spot seems to be the messy middle. This is the place where I write.

That view never gets old. Photo by Wendy Stieg

If you've ever felt like your life is unfinished rather than broken, you might also enjoy Michelangelo and the Moving Truck, where I explored the idea that we may still be in the process of becoming.

Determination Matters More Than Talent

I used to teach kids how to write, among other things. I spent several years teaching fifth grade students in particular. I remember teaching them parts of a story, literary devices, how to write a hook, and so on. I won’t get technical here, but all stories have The Problem and The Solution. Oh, if only it were that simple in life. When you start talking about success stories, you realize that ALL success stories are filled with frustration, uncertainty, self-doubt, mistakes, and course corrections. I am not claiming to be successful, yet. I love the word “yet” because it means the door is open to whatever I want to head toward.

I see myself as successful, despite the challenges and setbacks Paul and I have experienced in the past couple of years. While life is filled with challenges for everyone, it is also important to remember that being highly talented and really good at everything is not what creates success. Keeping the “yet” idea alive, knowing that each thing you try teaches you something and that the difference between success and not-success is this: Just keep moving forward. Take the steps even when you aren’t sure if it will work out. That is how successful people navigate. I know that this is true for other successes in my life, and it’s true now.

You DO Get There

My mother used to say, "You never get there." I am not sure what she meant by that, but I completely disagree. You absolutely get there as long as you don’t stop moving forward. You keep trying. You get the degree. You get the house. You get the relationship. You get the book published, and you choose real destinations. The destination isn't the end, however. Once you reach that destination, you choose what comes next. That is not failure; it’s growth. Or in our case, what if you get there, and it wasn’t what you thought? You get to choose again. Life is filled with do-overs. The point is to choose the life you love. You don’t do this all at once, though. You take small steps, getting closer and closer to the life you have always dreamed of. For me, it is one blog post at a time. Taking a morning walk each day with Gibby. Moving to a new city. Taking a new job. Realizing that job is not for you, and looking for another job. Writing a travel guidebook, taking a trip. Keep. On. Moving. This is how you change your life, by choosing the life you love in small, measured steps.

A Beautiful Evening Accompanied by an Annoyed Paul. Photo by Wendy Stieg

I may not be successful yet. But I am determined. I have been determined my whole life. I let nothing get in my way. I plan to keep going. Learning. Building. Sometimes the big moments look ordinary. Sometimes they look like a beautiful Colorado evening accompanied by an annoyed Paul. And sometimes they remind us how far a series of small steps can take us.

A Beautiful Evening Accompanied by an Annoyed Paul