How to remain the author of your life despite the chaos around you

Safety third! My husband Paul says this all the time. He’s joking, of course… mostly. It’s one of those lines that sticks because it’s funny, but also just true enough to make you think.

And right now, safety is something a lot of people are thinking about. Not in a theoretical way, but in a very real one.

What I want to focus on in this article is what matters. I realize not everyone agrees with my beliefs and approaches to life, and that’s OK. Right now, however, things do feel unstable.

Destinations that once felt predictable now require a very different level of awareness (like I wrote about in Safe Travels Without Paranoia).

When you look at it, it doesn’t just feel unstable, it is unstable. People who know me know that I am genuinely a positive person. But I am not into toxic positivity. I prefer to see what is happening in the world and accept that this is reality. I will not sugarcoat what is going on, because the idea that “everything will all work out” usually means waiting for some future point when things are supposed to get better.

I am not a patient person when it comes to waiting for life to begin. Waiting for things to get better is one of the biggest unhappiness traps there is.

The truth is, what I see in the world, in travel, and in my own life all point to the same thing: There is real instability right now. Wars have been started, global political tensions are rising, and extreme weather events are disrupting entire regions in ways that are no longer occasional, but increasingly normal. I see the impact of that every day in my work. Trips are being canceled due to weather, unrest, and safety concerns, and destinations that once felt predictable now require a very different level of awareness. And in our own life, things aren’t settled either. Paul has been out of work for five months, it took me over a year to find my current job, our house is on the market, and we’re trying to figure out what comes next.

So what do you do?

The Turn

Road Over Beliche Baragém. Photo by Wendy Stieg

I will start with what you don’t do. You don’t wait for things to settle, because that puts your peace and happiness somewhere outside of you, dependent on circumstances you don’t control. You don’t rely on “everything will work out.” In my experience, things work out because I do what I can, both physically and mentally, to accept what is and, in many cases, make lemonade out of lemons. What you do is choose your direction anyway. The very definition of a victim is someone who has experienced the loss of a dream, and our dreams are what keep us moving forward. Things happen, but it is we who ultimately decide if we give up on that dream. Hold on to your dream. What is happening around me does not get to decide how I live my life. I decide what matters, and I move toward it anyway. This is where you take authority over your own life, regardless of the chaos around you.

Who am I, and why does this matter?

Anyone who knows me well can attest to the fact that Paul and I have experienced real hardship. Loss of loved ones, healthcare scares, and serious financial strain. Not once, but in different seasons of our lives. And what that has taught me is this: I don’t wait for life to feel stable before I choose. Choose what to believe about myself, choose how I want to feel, even if right now I feel scared, devastated, or worried, and choose what to do next. I allow what is and still continue moving forward. Not move on, because that implies what I am in right now doesn’t matter, but I can keep moving forward.

Plaza in Carmona, Spain Phot by Wendy Stieg

I am the kind of person who lands on their feet. Not because of luck, but because I choose to orient myself. And those choices allow me to move through whatever I am in, whether that is health issues, grief, or loss, and still continue functioning and moving forward.

From Reaction to Intention

The dream has always been about finding a way to eventually retire somewhere that allows us to keep traveling and exploring the world. We want to keep learning new languages and experiencing new cultures, to continue stepping outside of our comfort zone rather than settling into something smaller. Travel is expensive, but living in Europe changes that equation. A $135 ticket can take you to London, Paris, Rome, or even Eastern Europe. Keeping a home in Colorado gives us options, keeps a foot in the U.S., and allows us to build toward something bigger at the same time. Recognizing that our love for travel and adventure doesn’t end when we retire, but may actually just be beginning, has shifted how we think about all of this. That clarity came from our recent experience of having a house fall through in Portugal. What initially felt like a crushing blow has shifted into something else entirely and showed us that there are other ways to get to the same goal: finding an inexpensive home in a small European village while creating access to more travel, not less.

Thinking about travel this way has changed how I plan everything, including how I approach food and daily structure (which I wrote about in my meals series: Part 1 & Part 2).

Fishing Spot in Vila Real de Santo Antonio, Portugal. Photo by Wendy Stieg

Spain Begins

So Portugal fell through. But instead of closing a door, it opened another one. Spain begins.

We’ve spent a lot of time researching what it actually takes to move to Europe, and three things consistently rise to the top: ease of obtaining residency, taxation for expats, and housing. Spain, particularly the Catalan region, keeps coming back as a strong fit. The idea would be to live near Girona or Barcelona, but not in a major city. Somewhere within about thirty minutes of the coast, close to a high-speed train, and within reach of France. Catalan offers all of that.

Sanlúcar Fortress Across the Guadiana River Photo by Wendy Stieg

At the same time, Paul has a long-standing goal of experiencing the three major cycling tours: the Tour de France, La Vuelta, and the Giro d’Italia. This year, La Vuelta creates a unique opportunity. The race begins in Monaco, moves through southern France, crosses the Pyrenees, and continues into Spain, ultimately ending in Granada. Barcelona becomes a natural entry point for us. We can fly nonstop from LAX at a reasonable cost, and from there begin following select stages of the race.

But this isn’t just about the race. It gives us a way to move through different regions, to see the landscape, the towns, the pace of life, and begin asking a more important question: could this actually be home? What started as a setback in Portugal has shifted into something more intentional. Instead of waiting for a single perfect opportunity, we are designing a trip that allows us to explore, evaluate, and move one step closer to the life we’re trying to build.

Sailing Near Lisboa, Portugal Photo by Wendy Stieg

The Plan

To be clear, this is not just a one-off trip. It is the beginning of a full process that involves both travel and exploring the possibility of moving to Spain. The plan is to take the Barcelona trip and document it from start to finish in the way I naturally would, while creating a travel book prototype that I eventually hope to share. I don’t just want to plan a trip. I want a way to hold the entire experience, including the inspiration, the decisions, the uncertainty, and the trip itself, in one place. I’m using this trip to test the book in real time, refining it as I go. My goal is not only to create something meaningful for myself, but to develop a thoughtful, practical tool that can help others stay organized and present in their own travel experiences.

My decision to write this blog comes from many different places in my life, including the hope that one day I can support myself through this work. I love the idea that people can support creatives in ways that were never possible before. The travel book, which I am calling Bon Voyage, is a place where I hope to bring that to life, creating something that is part planner, part journal, and part scrapbook, something that becomes a keepsake and documents meaningful travel experiences.

This Barcelona trip is not just a vacation. It is exploration in real time, both of a place and of a life we are actively trying to build.

This is something I’ve been exploring more deeply in my recent writing (you can read more in my Muse pieces here).

In Closing

The world may be unstable, and life may not feel settled, but that has never been a requirement for moving forward. We are not waiting for certainty, for better timing, or for everything to fall into place. We are planning a trip to Spain, exploring what our future could look like, and taking real steps toward a life that matters to us, even as things remain unclear. This is not about guarantees or believing that everything will magically work out. It is about deciding what matters, orienting ourselves in that direction, and continuing to move forward anyway, because if we don’t choose that for ourselves, something else will choose for us.

Safety Third!